Mastering the Gray Everyday

Hey There !

Dave from McElhoes Family Farm/Belmont here.

Well, last week we got about 7" of wet, heavy snow. Katie and a friend made some enormous snowmen out in the East Pasture. Just over in Parker they only got maybe an 1" of slush, and I hear down toward Kittanning they only got rain.

Right after that, our temperature dropped making the driveway a thick, solid sheet of ice. I chiseled off big bricks of snow/ice off of the windshield of the truck, and thought briefly of building an igloo.

After an encouraging trip out, I found the roads had been treated and were bare. Coming back from my errands, I did the usual speed slalom down my driveway, and felt a bit of satisfaction, even hubris. "Winter isn't really all that bad," I thought. Feeling confident, i took a load of wood down the hill to an outbuilding, turned the truck around and headed back up the hill to the house.

I have driven many miles over the last nearly 50 years, both on roads and off, in good conditions, rain, mud, ice, snow, hills and valleys even creeks and rivers in my misspent youth. I kinda have a handle on it.

My driveway has a steep, rough patch just before I hit the top, and my reflex, if I lose traction slightly, is to give it a little gas. The slightly spinning wheels still have enough push, when combined with my forward inertia, to get me over a little patch like this and parked safely.

However... Some engineer, or his boss, who had probably never been off of pavement much less spent a winter in St. Pete, decided the best way to help humanity would be have a computer kill the throttle if it detects a bit of wheel spin. Thanks, I guess.

With the sudden loss of power, the truck immediately began to slide back down the hill. My right foot knew enough to keep mashing the throttle, but the truck refused to respond against it's pre-programmed prime directive to keep power to itself, - and here I had believed I was supposed to be in charge.

Thankfully, the steering wheel still responds. (Don't get me started on my wife's car that will shake the wheel and force you into what it perceives as the lane regardless of your opinion on the matter). I managed to repeat, nay even surpass, my speed slalom record in my unbalanced pickup truck, backwards, threading between gate posts and two electric fences, coming to a stop just before crashing into the guest cottage. No telling what might have happened if some desk jockey hadn't thought of helping me. Perhaps I'd have reached the top uneventfully. No way of knowing. In the words of Cool Hand Luke, "Wish you'd quit being so good to me Boss."

We have since gotten an additional 6" or 8" of fluffy and slippery snow, and I have learned a valuable lesson. I need to turn off the "Traction Control" (what a B.S. misnomer) EVERY... SINGLE... TIME... I get in the truck. And they said I couldn't be reached.

Anyway, I still have a handful of Old Fashioned Country Roasting Chickens (size about 5-6 lbs.) left. They make a nice centerpiece for a holiday meal. I'm out of Gourmet Roasters, but I do still have Broilers (size about 4 lbs. or so) in both Old Fashioned and Gourmet types. I also still have a decent number of smaller, 2-4 lb. Fryers of both types left as well.

Don't get too hung up on the names, any size can be prepared any way you like. In fact, one of my favorite weeknight meals is taking a "fryer", spatchcocking it (just cut out the backbone with kitchen shears and flatten it out on a pan breast side up), and putting it under the broiler in my oven for maybe a half hour or so. Simple, quick, and delicious.

If you click the red links above, you can see what is still available, and I can probably meet you or deliver before the holidays. That is if my truck gives me permission.

Thanks for Listening,

Dave